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Grace, mercy, and peace be unto you from God our Father and from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
Dear sisters and brothers in Christ, the text for this morning comes from the Gospel reading. You may be seated.
Are family squabbles normal? Do members of your family disagree with you? Do members of your family disagree with one another and you feel torn as if you’re the referee or the mediator between them? Having to try to sew things back up together. And when such family squabbles occur, what is your hope and desire for the outcome? I think all of us know that there’d be reconciliation, that there would be confession and absolution and repentance and forgiveness, that anger would subside and disagreement be seen for what it is, respected and moved on. And none of it be harbored or kept under wraps, waiting to pounce upon the person that truly it’s forgiven and let go of.
Family squabbles have been occurring since the Garden of Eden. The very first, Adam and Eve. Remember? The woman you gave unto me, she took of the fruit and I ate of it. And then that family squabble was passed down, wasn’t it? Cain and Abel. The family squabble between Adam and Eve was inherited to Cain and Abel, and it resulted in the first murder in the Garden of Eden. That sin was passed on because sin is like that, isn’t it? It is a part of our genetic makeup. And having been passed on, it was also passed on to a father named Jacob, whose sons had a family squabble, and they sold the youngest, Joseph. Family squabbles have been occurring. Amen.
And there’s always three things that are a part of every one of your and my family squabbles. One that’s common to all of our family squabbles is Satan sowing seeds of discord and disharmony among family members. He loves to divide family members. He loves to take away what holds families in common. Amen. And turns it on its head and all that he loves to sow seeds of is what is different from that person who is still family.
The second thing is our own sinfulness because we have within us a pride that does not want to admit it’s wrong or will not let go that it’s right. And no matter how, we’re going to make sure that the other person or persons know that I’m right. Doesn’t matter a whole lot of good if collateral damage ruins everyone. The third thing is the world’s encouragement. The world’s always encouraging because there’s some of us who don’t really want to engage in family squabbles, do we? We just want to be quiet, walk away. And the world encourages us to basically deny our family, deny the person whom God has put into our life because we don’t want to deal with it.
These three things are present in every one of family squabbles. They were present with Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Jacob and his sons, your family, the church at large, and even St. Paul, our parish family. And when squabbles are a part of all these important family that we’re a part of, we have two choices. Do we allow the family squabble to keep us at odds with one another? Do we harbor the bitterness? Do we keep track and record? That’s one choice that each of us can make. The other choice is, do we abide in his love?
Notice I said abide in his love. I didn’t even start talking about loving one another. Abide in his love. Because the church, St. Paul parish family, your parish family is built and preserved not by your diligence, not by your kindness, but by his love. Your marriage is bound up by his love, not by your duty, not by your kindness, but by his love. First and foremost, we must receive his love or we’re lost. It was St. John in his epistle that said, we love because he first loved us.
Abiding his love means to receive and hold fast to him. Never let go of what he’s done for us so that his forgiveness is what our entire life is lived as. His love is what covers all of our life. Then and only then can we even begin to think about practicing love for one another. There will always be sparks between family members, husbands and wives, children, parents and children, children and parents, parish family members. Yes. And Satan in our pride does not want us to spit on that spark and put it out.
Satan, our flesh in this world, wants us to fan that spark that occurs in all families, even in church families. And Satan wants us to fan that into a flame. It is only the Holy Spirit who dwells within your bosom, who desires you in humility to spit on that spark, snuff it out with his love. Amen. And with his forgiveness. But it’s your my pride. And it’s this world that spurs us on. Just like it spurred on Cain with Abel. Joseph’s brothers with Joseph. And it’s difficult, isn’t it?
Consider how serious this really is. When we choose not to forgive and love one another, we blaspheme the name of Jesus. When we choose not to abide in his love first and foremost for us, we blaspheme. And not practice then love toward one another, we blaspheme the holy name of Jesus. When we’re bitter and do not resolve that which is within us, and we stir up dissension and continue to talk rather than resolve, we blaspheme the name of Jesus.
You see, loving one another isn’t just actively giving that love and forgiveness to one another. It is also at the selfsame time squelching love and putting to rest factions, schisms, and other such things that wish to divide us. That is as blasphemous as choosing not to forgive or love. Consider this. If he calls you his friend, each one of you his friend, then he makes his friends your friends. And he wants his friends and your friends to be the same. Friends love friends. That’s what friends do. Friends overlook friends’ errors. Friends do not let criticism and critical aspect be what guides their attitude toward others, for we would not want that same standard to be applied to ourselves by those whom we call friends.
He calls you his friend. The standard that he makes you his friend is in the shape of a T. And that standard has been placed on his body and soul, crushed and poured out to make you his friends. There is no need to be critical. There is no need to harbor. And avoidance is as much of a sin as choosing not to love.
It’s not in his interest that he needs you to love one another. It is not in his interest that he needs you to love one another. It’s in your interest that he proclaims to love one another. It doesn’t benefit him. He’s God. But it does benefit his friends. When his friends love one another. He chooses to give us such a command for us to be benefited by one another. He says remain in his love. Remain his friends. And remain friends with one another.
The one who chooses not to abide in love, friendship, and love with one another is denying his love and friendship toward their self. That seems a little counter-beneficial, doesn’t it? To choose not to love someone and to choose not to engage in reconciliation with someone is really choosing not to receive love and forgiveness from him. He chooses to pour it upon you, lather it over you so that you have it to give to one another. He said, I chose you and I appointed you to be my friend. And my friendship, he is saying to you, isn’t based on your value or worth of your own self. It’s based on that I am love incarnate and I chose you.
Let us not receive such love and forgiveness in vain, brothers and sisters. For at the end of the day, there really is nothing more that we can glory in than that he chose you, his friend. Consider it. Jesus said, Was it not I that brought you out of darkness into light that you could see and not be hidden? Just as God sought Adam out in the garden when he hid himself, so your Jesus sought you, and so your Jesus found you, and so your Jesus called you, and so your Jesus appointed you his friend, especially among your brothers and sisters in the faith.
You and I know that sometimes there is nothing more that can be done when it comes to our blood family. We’ve done it all, maybe. We’ve said it all. I don’t know. But I do know that there is a family of which you’re a part of that’s very, very important. The family with whom you’re sitting and with whom you will eat and drink your friend’s blood and body, Jesus. And it is a challenge to your and my faith to love and forgive other people when they have hurt us deeply.
This is Mother’s Day. You mothers know how it feels to bear the sorrow of unrequited love. You fathers know the same. You children know what it’s like to give love to your parents and bear the sorrow of unrequited love from them. But that’s why we live and walk by faith and not by our own strength or ability. Part of being a parent is bearing that sorrow. Part of being a parish family member is bearing the sorrow of unrequited love.
Stories you could tell me of how you have reached out to someone within the parish and have experienced unrequited love. And I could regale you with many other stories from my own personal perspective as your pastor. It is the same. You and I all have borne the sorrow of unrequited love, but we have a choice. We can allow it to control us, or we can let go and let his love have his way with us, soften us, strengthen us, sustain us. That’s why he said, pray, ask whatever in my name. When we live and walk by faith in loving one another, we have to live and walk by prayer.
How else can you and I be sustained in this love toward one another and in this forgiveness toward one another? It’s not a pragmatic declaration when Jesus said love one another. It doesn’t work. Let’s get that through our heads. Let me say that again. Loving one another doesn’t work. It’s not a pragmatic thing. In other words, if I do it each time, it’s always going to work out. If I love and sustain my relationship, they’ll always receive me the same way. It doesn’t. Jesus loved the entire world with perfect love, and yet the entire world does not respond to his perfect love.
And you and I… By his Holy Spirit, or at least able to reflect upon the times we haven’t responded to his holy love. And he bore the sorrow of our unrequited love toward him. We live and walk by faith. And it was what John said in his epistle that is the fantastic summary of this text. Everyone who has been born of God, that’s you. You have been born of God. You have been baptized. You have heard the word. You have received his absolution. You have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.
Everyone who has been born of God overcomes the world. God be praised. We overcome the hatred. We overcome the sorrow of unrequited love. We overcome the disappointments and frustration. We overcome the complete apathy and desire to walk away. And this is the victory that has overcome the world, our faith—the faith that he planted in your heart when you were a baby, the faith that he has fed on days when you were at your best and on days most of the time when you realized you were not, the faith that he has given to you, fed by his love and his forgiveness.
In the name of our friend Jesus, amen. The peace of God which passes all understanding. Keep your hearts and minds on Christ Jesus to life everlasting. Amen.
