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Grace, mercy, and peace be unto you from God our Father, and from our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
The text for this morning comes from the Gospel reading and the Old Testament reading. You may be seated.
And so it began. It began with these words: “The woman, the woman you gave to me.” And ever since those words fell on Eve’s ears, have husbands blamed wives and wives blamed husbands? And have marriages struggled? Yours and mine. All. Because of the blame game. Sadly, it is a very convoluted and unattractive game that we do play. Its intent is so that we can justify our actions. So that we can say, “I’m right. You’re wrong.” But it doesn’t do anything but tear at the person’s heart who hears the words. And really, tearing at their heart tears at… You were in my heart too.
This blame game is always in contradistinction to repentance and forgiveness, confession and absolution. When we hold high the blame game, we’re not really willing to let forgiveness reign. We’re just wanting to be right. To want and desire forgiveness means that we lay those things aside and confess and repent and receive that forgiveness. And give that forgiveness.
That’s why the Pharisees engaged Jesus in this morning’s Gospel reading. They engaged Jesus with these words: “Listen. Is it lawful? Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Notice they don’t ask, “Is it godly? Is it God-pleasing? Is it holy?” No, none of those words whatsoever. But “Is it lawful? Is it legal?” No. Let’s talk law. Let’s talk legalism. It’s what the Pharisees really were asking Jesus to do.
Jesus doesn’t bite the bait. When they ask such a question, they are avoiding the reality of what God had already spoken in Genesis that you heard read. And in asking such a question, they’re denying why God created them male and female. Jesus removes all wiggle room for these Pharisees, and in removing all wiggle room in these Pharisees to justify a reason, he removes from you and me any reason that we may have too.
From whom did the gift of marriage come? That’s ultimately one of the two things that Jesus is going to proclaim in what he proclaims in the Gospel reading. The other one is, what was the intent of marriage to be? From whom did it come and what was the intent of it? Forget the legality of it. He’s saying to the Pharisees and to you and to me, forget what the court of law says. Forget what the state says. What did God say? Forget who’s right. Forget who’s wrong. What did God say?
So ultimately, he’s also saying, how are you as husband to treat your wife? How are you as wife to treat your husband? And then ultimately, how do we as church, the body of Christ, strengthen marriages, including our own? When God proclaimed to Adam that it’s not good for the man to be alone, he is creating marriage. So when he parades all those animals in front of him, Adam quickly sees two by two by two, and yet there’s only one of him. God must have something in store for him, and he did not create him to be alone.
And so rather than taking another lump of clay out of the ground to create a woman completely independent and not one flesh with Adam, does he create woman from Adam? And in creating woman from Adam, he is designing this unique and intimate relationship known as marriage. Hence why God said, “…the two shall become one flesh.” Because what was two is now joined together. The offspring of Adam now is joined to Adam. And the one reigns.
In making them male and female in such a manner, he is setting up… I’m the one who has given you this great and glorious gift known as marriage. It was not given to you by the state. It was not given to you by man. It was given to you by your creator. You, my beloved, were created for such a gift.
So then if that’s the gift that God gave, what is his intent for marriage? When Jesus quotes his father in this morning’s Gospel reading, “A man shall leave his father and mother and be united unto his wife, hold fast to his wife, cleave unto his wife,” he is repeating what God had already said. And then he adds one more thing in this morning’s Gospel reading. He says, “What God has joined together, let no one tear apart.”
He’s making it very clear that God is the one who brings us together. Now, we would love to think it’s our chiseled chin and our buff body as guys. We’d love to think it’s our curves and our hair as ladies, and our eyes, and it’s really God who does it. Because everybody in here knows what happens to chiseled bodies and curves as we grow older. It’s God who brings them together. Hence why Jesus said, “What God has joined together.” It’s not man’s creation, this marriage institution. It is God’s creation.
The other thing in the intent of marriage is that the parent-child relationship shall never replace marriage. Otherwise, he would have never said a man shall leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and they become one flesh. He never says mother-child, father-child, or parent-child becomes one flesh, ever. They are always two and are meant to be two. Because child is meant to be yoked with another that God joins to that person.
Very, very unique and very intimate is this relationship of one flesh between male and female. And this really is nothing more than a picture. It’s a picture of Christ with us, His bride, the church. He is our groom, the perfect husband. We not so much. But he receives us back as his chosen bride that God gave to him. He makes us holy and acceptable, God’s gift to him, Jesus, our groom.
If God has instituted marriage and has actually designed us for it in his marvelous and magnificent creation, he also intends our marriage to be a witness to other people, a witness especially to the children. If you have grown up with divorce in your life, you know the pain it causes you as a child. But you have also told me that you have survived the pain of someone else’s sin put upon you. And you’ve survived it not because of your strong character. You’ve told me you’ve survived it because of God’s grace and mercy to you to forgive and to receive forgiveness.
And you parents of divorced children, it’s not your fault either. It’s not about whose fault it is. Don’t even allow Satan to put that upon your neck. It’s about forgiveness. It’s about repentance. Not because you weren’t the perfect parent to raise the child, but because God forgives all. There’s nothing that he doesn’t forgive. What we show children, the glory we show children, isn’t the perfect marriage. The glory we show children is a broken marriage that finds its strength in Christ’s forgiveness. That is what we show children—a broken marriage that finds its strength to forgive in Christ, not a perfect marriage.
Because of that matter, as you look at you and me, none of us here are exhibiting a perfect marriage. No matter if we wear the ring on our finger or not, none of us here show forth a perfect marriage. None of us. We can’t pat ourselves on the back and think, “Well, we’re not divorced like they are.” All of us, all of us, whether we’ve been married a few years or decades, have not honored marriage at every turn in our own life. And we know that our marriage survives because of forgiveness, not because of our character.
So then how are husbands and wives to treat one another as the very gift they are? Not legalistically. See, we’re still married. Look at how we’ve changed what was done to us. But humbly treasuring the grace that sustains your marriage. By repenting for how you and I have mistreated the gift and receiving the forgiveness of that gift.
Then we’re completely and totally bereft of anything of our own. And it all rests on God, the merciful groom, Jesus Christ, who receives us, his bride, again and again and again and again. The church strengthens marriage by calling us all to repentance and, like children, pointing us to where we are forgiven.
Isn’t it interesting the unique placement of this morning’s readings? We’ve got this reading about marriage and divorce, and then we’ve got this reading about children. Right? It seems to be almost a disconnect, as if there is this one subject matter, break, a different subject matter, and there’s no connection. There is a connection. Where do all broken marriages go? As children, they return to their father and say, “Daddy, fix it. Fix me. Take care of me and help me.” That I can forgive those who have hurt me, especially the one you gave me as a gift, and that I can be forgiven for what I’ve done to that gift that you’ve given me, Lord.
We have not honored marriage as we have honored marriage. And there’s no wiggle room for us. We can’t legalistically say it doesn’t apply to me. It applies to us all as God’s beloved children. God did not ever wag his finger at his child and cross his arms and say, “Oh, coming back again, are you?” But greets us with outstretched palms, gathers us physically, puts his hands on us, and feeds us the very flesh and blood of forgiveness.
This is what a loving father does to his children, which gives his children the strength to mend marriages. And more importantly, to be mended and healed and bound up. Children were used by Jesus because, as you know, children are much quicker to forgive than we as adults, aren’t they? Children give forgiveness so much more liberally than we as adults do. So why then use children? He wants us to give it as much as we receive it. But it starts first with us receiving it.
It starts first with us receiving it, holding it precious, and being suckered by it. That means to be nourished and nursed by it. Let him take you into his arms and pronounce his blessings of forgiveness to you, his children, no matter how many times you’ve come back crying like I have. And let his grace have its way with you. That you can forgive as you first are forgiven.
Then we really are salted for service, aren’t we? In the name of our groom, Jesus Christ, who receives us, his wayward bride, time and time again, clothing us with his white robe of righteousness and calling us again his beloved, Jesus. Amen.
The peace of God, which passes all understanding, keep your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus to life everlasting. Amen.
